Here again

I don´t know how to start… the white paper scares me at the beginning. I have just started, so the next will be easier. I don´t know what I will write, well… maybe I have the global idea ;) but I want to be spontaneous because other times I think a lot in what I has written and I review many times my texts. Now, I want to go where my thoughts guide me. Do they guide me or do I guide them? I don´t know.

What I know is that I have a lot of questions in my head. Why I am writing? Why now? Why here, on this blog? As I said, I want to be spontaneous, so I have to be coherent with this. Because of that I am going to start with the first answers that I consider. I am writing because I feel I need it, because I want to stop during a moment, because want to organize my ideas, because I want to “explore” what is happening inside my head, how I think… maybe to do a metacognition investigation? Jaja

Why now? Because the semester is ending and the time for me has passed “flying”, as we said in Spanish. This semester has a lot of complex ideas, a lot, a lot. And I need time to assimilate them; I think it takes more time that to understand them. So now, I have found one moment to think about all this.

Now, I am realising that I never think: Now I am going to stop and reflect about this or that. I just do it “unconsciously” and during my reflection I realised that I am taking perspective and assessing one situation or action. In these moments, like now, I have some kind of stress because I don´t know how to do it exactly. I feel that there are too many things to reflect, a lot of things to change, many things I don´t know. I feel so small with a lot of questions. So it is a chaos on my mind. Due to this “stress” I usually stop my reflections because it is a sense not comfortable for me, maybe because it is not familiar and none has teach me to do it, to solve it, to overcome it… Perhaps I don´t know how to manage my feeling or my thoughts. Or maybe, I stops to reflect because it is difficult and I am lazy jaja. It could be. Are they hypothesis? Keine Ahnung, as we say in German. Well this is the first time I write about how I think.

Another thing I often do is to think that I should make reflections usually, but at the end I never do it, like most of my own propositions. So now, I am not going to propose this. I will reflect when I need to do it, like today.

I am hungry, I am going to eat. I will answer other day to the last question I did (Why am I writing on this blog?) When? I will see it.

Laura